twenty-eight

I wish I were more rebellious. You challenged me, and I'd like to meet your challenge. Hm. It's not coming. It'd be easier if I could just laugh it off, declaring, I'm not doing that.

28 words?

Face lifted heavenward.
Heart aching to be filled.
Body sore, scarred, and painted.
Soul searching for embodiment.
Loving beauty.
Needing grace.
Desiring boldness.
Lacking courage.
Enveloped in dreams.

Don't think that covers it.
I think if you asked me tomorrow, my answer would be different.
I feel blessed, undoubtedly.
Pain and struggle are all objective.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

I just finished a brand new week of a brand new season.
I am beginning to find a new family... on campus last night, I find a new place to relax.
Last night I liked who I was.
A new pair of jeans: $29.99.
Flip flops: $2.00
Spending the evening, comfortable in your own skin: priceless.

Bought books today. Two of them. I need five. Two cost me almost $200. Amazon.com, here I come. It took us almost two hours to fill out FAFSA the other night... I stood in line for a good hour and a half at the offices on Monday. It all makes you want to curse higher education.

Made friends with the security guard (Nathan) and the front desk guy (Gabriel). Alex, a guy whose face I cannot even recall, told me I was beautiful. There is someone I know in every one of my classes. My biology professor is a hippie--she told me to find something to do this weekend that feeds my soul. My logic professor looks like Jack from Will and Grace. Photography class will get me through the semester...

Sarah is in the hospital. I can tell by her voice how she is feeling. I saw her at the hospital on Tuesday and watched her walk around and get dizzy. I'm taking her ice cream tomorrow... she's having a biopsy next week. When she was admitted, no one (except for Kat) even thought to call me. I was pissed. Sarah's my girl. Two years now, I've been kidnapping her, taking her for coffee, waiting for her to blurt out what's worrying her. She exhausts me. And I love her dearly. Tuesday night, I hugged her tight (this was the first time she'd ever let me give her a two-armed hug) and told her I loved her. I had never told her that before. Shame on me.

I am leaving to babysit for 6-month old twin boys. There's a wedding going on tonight... I'll be in the hotel room changing diapers. Ha.