Jones

I'm going to tell you a secret. A secret that's been buried deep inside of me for many years. It makes me smile just to think about. Especially now, since it's not really a secret anymore.

There is this boy. With nice green eyes and strong arms. Who used to pick us up and spin us around when we were teenagers. The boy who offered to let me move in with him and his fraternity brothers last year when I had no where else to go. The boy I went and sat with, watching pirated versions of Where the Wild Things Are, while his mouth was wired shut. This boy I love like a brother... who has been around just about as long.

There is this boy. Who loves my sister. And I've always known. It's been the worst, best secret I've ever kept. I sat back and watched as he patiently loved her... waited on her... the most amazing display of love I've ever seen.

So after eight long years he finally told his secret and love began to grow between them. I've been feeling as though it were MY story. Just because of how much I love my sister and my brother. How long I've waited to see this happen. Because all along, I've kept this a sort-of secret, knowing when it happened, it would be right.

I am also watching as my brother learns about our Father God. I've prayed more about that than anything else over the past few years... wanting him to know what it means to be fully known and completely loved. To be romanced by the Creator of the Universe. The Creator of trees and wind. I told a friend (who I'd let the secret slip to) that I had one mission this past summer. Somehow, someway, show my brother about Jesus and His love. I knew.... I knew the rest would follow.

I spent all day yesterday crying to God. Missing Him, missing my purpose. Lonely and tired and feeling worthless.

Tears were all dammed up behind my eyes and no amount of sweating, praying, or asking was shaking them loose. Until my best friend let me know that my sign at St. Luke's yesterday wanted me to know God thought I was of immeasurable worth.

I lost it. In the car. On the steering wheel. God still speaks. In the simplest, most straightforward ways. In His quiet voice during this season, He's been whispering "just keep going. I sure do love you."

So last night when I found out that my brother had been reading the book I gave him, and a door in his heart had opened up to the real love of Christ, I cried again. What my brother doesn't realize yet (because, well, he hasn't gotten all the way to the end of the story yet!) is he's been loving like Christ for years. Graciously. Patiently. Unconditionally. All along.

If I had to give up hearing and feeling God for a while, just so my brother could, I'd do it in a heartbeat. If I had to sacrifice my spiritual ear and the feeling I get when the wind blows, just so he could know what it means to be saved by grace, I would. You see... I know the truth. And I've felt God's presence. He's there and I know Him. I know Him well enough to know, even when He's quiet, He didn't go anywhere.

I also realized last night I would be willing to be alone for a little while longer... if it meant this worked out for my sister and my brother. If this loneliness I am feeling could ever mean hope and a future for these two I love the most... it'd be worth it.

I like being a part of this love story. Having a front row seat and watching the greatest of all fairy tales unfold, intertwined with the Greatest Love story ever told.

Finally. It's not a secret anymore.

There's this boy. And he loves my sister.

There's this boy. And my sister loves him.