Friday, March 19, 2010

Last Day of Winter

Today, according to the calendar, was the last day of winter.

This morning, I paid off all of my medical debt.

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Anyone who has ever had bad debt knows what a relief it is to pay it in full.

I've been waiting for eight months to see that happen (which, I realize, is a relatively short time).

And not just because the payments drained my bank account every month.

No.

This medical debt symbolized a season of breaking.

A season of surrender.

A season of wrecking and stretching and climbing.

I learned to trust the Father in a way that I hadn't known how to do since I was thirteen years old.

I surrendered parts of my life I had been desperately clinging onto.

I began to pray a prayer...

a dangerous prayer.

That, now, has changed everything.

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And while I would never trade what I've learned...

this season has been one of the hardest of my life.

I am not who I once was.

And the path I'm headed down is a very unfamiliar one.

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So this morning, on the last day of winter, I was able to pay off my debt.

To bring the balance to zero.

Paid in full.

On this last day of winter, a season of hurting and healing and hiding in the shadow of His wings.

Tomorrow, I start a new day, free from the burden of that debt.

That debt and all it represented.

"See! The winter is past! The rains are over and gone; flowers appear on the earth, the season of singing has come..."

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God is faithful.

And He is good.

I think about the parallels between the debt I paid this morning and the debt the Father sent His son to pay.

And on a smaller, more selfish scale, I am amazed today at how good God is - how well God knows me. Well enough to know that I needed closure.

I needed finality.

Tomorrow, all things begin new.

Hello, Spring.

Oh, how I've missed you.

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