Thirsty

Open and close my fingers.

Reach.

Grappling.

My hands are wet.

And empty.

My lips taste, but my mouth remains dry.

Thirsty.

I am thirsty.

But I cannot take hold -

that, which I need most desperately,

slips right through my fingers.

My efforts are in vain.

My energies wasted.

All for a few drops on my tongue.

-

I've been doing this for too long.

I see.

I know exactly what it is I need.

In fact, what I need has already been provided.

Given to me.

Over and again.

Like rain, it pours over me.

-

But what can I do?

How do I accept this gift?

My frantic gestures, my greedy reach, just seem to fall short.

-

I find myself, now, on my knees.

I am soaked.

There is absolutely no denying that I have been provided for.

Blessed.

Taken care of.

I just don't know what to do with it.

-

I bow my head and feel grace splashing on my neck. Trickling down my cheeks. I am washed with it, covered in it.

I lift my hands. Empty hands.

I don't have the words to explain to my Provider to explain the peace I long for, the deep thirst I need to satisfy.

I am still.

No more grappling.

No more desperation.

No more panic.

I am quiet.

-

Suddenly, I have surrendered.

My inability to satisfy my own thirst has sent me back to Him.

He must have heard what my heart was crying.

In my stillness, my quiet, my surrender -

In the abandonment of myself -

He came close.

And in my uplifted hands,

I felt Him pour His blessings.

Pooling in my cupped hands,

overflowing.

I bring my brimming hands to my dry lips, my thirsty mouth.

And I drink.

And I am satisfied.