Who We Are

It is a new year.

Before us lies a blank slate.

The drawing board has been untouched.

The paintbrush is in our hands, the chalk held between our fingers.

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Such stark whiteness causes great walls in my mind. Obstruction, found in the purity of nothingness.

I expect to find potential in the starkness. Find hope in the emptiness.

But I am overwhelmed.

With the acknowledgment of my failures. Of my shortcomings.

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Because who I am is not who I want to be.

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I want to be a woman with a gentle and quiet spirit.

And I want to be brave.

I want to be colorful and my words to be seasoned with salt.

I want to be intriguing.

And captivating.

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With the beginning of the year comes potential.

And my greatest fear of inadequacy.

Of being presented with opportunities and chances to change.

To become new.

And not seizing them. Remaining static, remaining the same.

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Oh, the Father finds me here.

Reminds me.

For anyone who is in Christ is a new creation.

The old has gone.

The new has come.

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I know this truth.

I bear a permanent reminder.

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Fear sets like the sun, casting shadows.

I have such a great desire to be so much more than I am.

But I don't even know where to begin.

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Where do I begin?

What sets transformation in motion?

The magic word that causes it all to spin?

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I have concrete goals for 2009.

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But my greatest aspirations are abstract.

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So much harder to accomplish.

But everlasting.

So rewarding.

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May we find ourselves with new wings this year.

Entering this season with an easy yoke.

With simple answers and hearts full of grace.

Ready and willing to change.

To give up.

To fall.

To rise up again.

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Who we are is not who we may be.

For we may all be made new.