a letter...

I am waiting for you.

But somewhere along the way, waiting turned into looking.

Everywhere I go, I expect to see you.

I am anxious to meet you.

I am eager.

I have contemplated every scenario.

Every possibility seems to have entered my imagination.

What you will be like. The way you will smile. What it is that will let me know, I've finally found you.

-

But if I keep thinking about it...

if I keep expecting and looking and anticipating...

there will be no surprise.

Like watching a pot of water boil.

Or waiting for a flower to unfold.

The mystery is lost... because I am so intently looking.

-

My heart is lonely for you.

Who I believe you are.

For the life I believe we will lead.

-

I will continue to wait.

Until you round the corner, or touch my hand for the first time.

I will wait for that day when you first make me laugh.

-

But I cannot keep looking.

Because I am missing the forest for the trees.

Because when you finally do come, I want it to be a surprise.

Magic.

Like watching the sun melt into the ocean...

Subtle, maybe.

But not expected.

-

You are out there.

I believe this with all my heart.

-

And until our paths converge,

I will be the best woman I can be.

I will live my life the best way I know how.

My prayer is that you would do the same.

So when the Father sees fit to let my river meet yours,

when our rivers become one,

we will live the rest of our lives doing the best we can.

Loving as best we can.

Together.

Stronger than we would be on our own.

-

I need you.

And I am going to continue to pray for you. And want you. And be lonely for you.

-

But I will not look anymore.

-

Come, find me.

Say hello.

I will see you then.

Just as my heart has seen you for years...