wrecking ball

I am so over character development I could vomit.

Yes.  I said it.

Freaking leave me the way I am.  Just for a minute.

Let me wallow in my imperfection, in my own mess, in my immaturity, and my foolishness.

Give me time to let the sore muscles heal.  Because right now I'm not strong enough to withstand anymore of the stress.

Everything has been attacked.  Torn down.  Demolished.

The wrecking ball is still swinging, dangling from the crane.  Gawking at the wreckage of myself.  Slightly proud of itself for how quickly, how effectively, it humbled me.

I'm still standing, at least.  Covered in dust and debris.  Ears ringing from the racket.  Mouth dry, nose itching.  I am afraid to look around me.  I know I have to start over now.  The foundation is still here.  Solid and firm and unmoving.  But that's all that remains.

Character development started out as remodeling.  As rebuilding.  A fresh coat of paint.  Reinforcing a support beam.

Apparently that wasn't enough.

And resulted in this.

The hardest part of the demolition phase is the hope in the rebuilding.

Because standing in the middle of all of it, I certainly can't see the plan.