unforced rhythms

I am blown away.
When I say I am considering joining the circus... I am not kidding.
My grades are horrible.
My bank account is empty.
My body is suffering.
I do not sleep well.
I am hungry a lot.
I feel like I am pushing a boulder up a mountain... and even when I stop to rest, I have to bear the weight of the burden.
And then today happens.
How a simple 82% on a biology exam could turn everything around, I'll never know.
But I wanted to shout for joy during lecture.
For the first time in a long time, I knew what it meant to want to dance and jump.
Happiness. I was PROUD of myself. Immensely so.
And then I am reminded... unconsciously by a new ruined-life friend of mine... of a promise that Jesus made to us.
(Matthew 11:28-30) "Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."
I am tired.
And worn out.
Frayed at the edges.
Religion holds no joy for me... only love and spirit.
So I need to seek Him.
Find him, run away with him.
He will wisk me away.
He will give me rest... real rest.
He wants to take a walk with me.
He wants to work by my side.
If I watch how He does it, then He'll do it with me.
And then I will know how.
"The unforced rhythms of grace."
That made my heart stop.
My shoulders cannot take anything heavier... I cannot walk beneath a load ill-suited.
Keep company with Him.
What does it mean to be free and light?
I want to take his yoke.