Grace

I asked for this.

I asked for Him to come, to feel Him.

I wanted a purpose. I wanted to be free and natural and I wanted my soul to meet my body.

I asked and pleaded and begged.

There were days when I retreated... I was tired of looking, tired of seeking and not finding.

And days all I wanted was to be on my knees, and wait.

But it snuck in.

Slipped in quietly and planted itself in my heart. And even now I cannot pinpoint when it happened. A seed that had been buried deep within myself long, long ago has begun to grow.

And the process is a painful one.

I found myself standing toe-to-toe with a challenge.

Suddenly swept up in a sea that had once been dammed...

And I found myself feeling sick. Consumed in a way I had never quite felt before.

I wanted to cry and the tears wouldn't come. I needed to take someone's hand and fall to my knees and ask for direction... for some reason, a prayer said silently just wouldn't suffice.

I prayed the feeling would stay. Stay with me, Lord... don't leave me again.

I felt my soul drenched...

Feeling heaven meet your soul is like waking from a dream. I felt as if I needed to stay very still... barely breathing, hoping the feeling would stay. Staying still to keep the real world from coming and pushing heaven out.

I feel His grace. Like rain, it's falling down on me.