predestined

I dont think about this very often.

But when I do, the thoughts pester me and will not leave me alone.

Even as I write this, I want to find a way to disable comments. Positive or negative. Because what you think is not why I write this down... Use my thoughts as a catalyst for your own. Because none of us will ever get it fully right. Not in this life. Agreeing, now perhaps, is not the point. Neither is accuracy.

I write this down because of it is part of my process.

Predestination or free will?

The question is the cause and source of many angry arguments and a lot of sleepless nights. A lot of worry and apathy stem from the profound questioning...

Do we have a choice? Or is our eternity already decided for us?

-

My thoughts on this were tilled, turned over, on Sunday when I read a passage in John. A beautiful passage about the vulnerability of Jesus. A passage that filled my heart until I stumbled across the verse that reads:

"This is why I told you no one can come to me unless the Father enables him."

In the same breath, declaring that He knew that those who left were going to do so.

-

I metaphorically stumbled.

-

Dang it.

-

It was all going so well, really. I was understanding it. The words were filling me.

That phrase felt like someone had taken a pin to my balloon. Pulled the drain from the tub.

I don't like things I don't understand.

And I didn't understand this.

-

So I wrote my mother about it. Knowing she would give me another answer, a deeply profound and educated answer, that I would not understand. But sometimes the answers are found simply in the gesture of asking. Of laying said dilemma on the table and looking at it... until it begins to look different.

Sometimes. Not all the time.

But true in this case.

-

And this is simply my opinion. There is no theological or philosophical or historical substance here. That's not how I process, not how I operate.

This is my opinion, based and formed on how I feel. On my personal relationship with Jesus. On the world as a story. A love story.

And I wonder just how simply I can express all of this.

Because it is a simple story.

-

Maybe, just maybe, we are all predestined to love Jesus.

-

When the world was first created, when God first created Adam, he was created for the sheer purpose of pure community and companionship with God.

There was no question of control or who was Leader and who was Follower.

It was the way it was.

How it was meant to be.

-

But love is not true love if it is preprogrammed.

-

And God wanted us to love Him the way He loves us.

So He gave us a choice.

A choice to stay or go. A choice to love or leave.

And we left.

We turned our backs and left a brokenhearted Creator in a garden that was meant for more than one.

Like a house, only a shell without its family.

-

This is when our issues of control set in.

Because very quickly, sinful nature took over. Discoloring, souring the pure hearts we were born with. The righteous souls we were intended to have.

Because the selfless act of relinquishing control is not something sinners can possibly do on their own.

-

And the Creator found a way to restore the plan.

He knew (for He had in fact created the hearts of men) that a piece of who they were meant to be had survived.

This meant there was still hope.

For a love story.

-

Because we were created to love Jesus.

There is eternity set in all our hearts (ecc 3:11), whether we understand its source or purpose.

-

So because of our sinful nature, we must seek out the Father. In our shortcomings, where we fail, we must go to Him. And He will enable us to hear. To see. To fall in love.

And like my daddy used to say, "we should never be afraid to ask".

-

So Jesus turns to those who have remained.

"You don't want to leave too, do you?"

Because real love is not forced.

Maybe Jesus knew the answer.

But He did not cause Peter to stay.

-

We are all predestined to love Jesus.

You see, in our free will, we have turned the world on her head.

We have walked away from our divine purpose, our design.

In a way, we have defied our own hearts.

-

But Jesus is our second chance at a love story.

Our second chance to be with the Creator again in the garden.

To see broken hearts healed.

Because love is a choice.

The Creator of love made it to be so.

-

And there's something about choosing to do what you were created to do...

-

I stopped here.

Because I am no theologian.

And certainly no scholar.

I have not combed through the Bible and tried to understand every context or conjugation or historical application.

But I have found a truth that resonates with my heart...

on a subject I think matters very little.

A subject I may never bring up again.

Because we might all agree that we are called to love the Father and take care of His children.

-

Real love is a choice.

And my heart could act no more naturally.

I feel I was created for it.