Rhythm

I imagine my life being made up of many cogs and wheels and gears... all different shapes and purposes. Some are rusty, some are shiny and new.

And every once in a while, a wrench gets thrown in.

And the whole operation goes haywire.

This wrench could be sickness. Or stress. A fight, confusion, deadlines, finances... even good things can sometimes throw the whole, smooth process out of whack.

I am in the middle of a very serious malfunction.

Well. Let's not call it a malfunction. Instead... my smooth-running, quick-witted, energetic system is temporarily out of order.

Days like today I wonder if temporary shut-downs are part of the plan.

Normally I don't read sappy, Christian novels. But today at lunch I was doing just that. And in between the gush and sap, there were a few small words of wisdom. "Sometimes, God gives us hard things because He cares about us enough to make us grow up."

The problem is, when one gear stops working, they all seem to come to a grinding halt. And I feel the jam in my heart and legs and fingertips.

Or perhaps, we could compare this to juggling... or a drum circle.

Last Sunday night we were walking through the park.

The Jugglers Convention was in town.

And Drums for Peace had gathered on the lawn.

I can't play any instrument... I can't read music... I can't dance.

But somewhere in my soul is a precious reservoir of rhythm. It only takes a few counts before I can pick out the beat... the heart... the foundation of the music.

So the six of us sat on the lawn and listened and watched as people played in what Larry called "a drum circle".

Some people were naturally rhythmic. You could see it in their face. The beat didn't come from their hands, or the bare feet they tapped against the grass. It came from somewhere deeper. A much more natural place.... something, somehow, was exiting their bodies through this music.

There were others who didn't quite have the natural rhythm. Their hands hit the drums and their bodies moved in no particular cadence. They just moved.

And I drew comparisons as I watched.

Knowing that the gears and cogs and wheels of my life and my future needed a good oiling. Roll up those sleeves, reach in, remove the wrench. That, however, is the technical part of my self. The nuts and bolts of the mechanism.

All passion, all emotion, is tangled up in the rhythm.

Whether its the rhythm that emerges from your veins... or the foolish, off-beat.

I think I've lost my rhythm.

I've fallen into a monotonous tone... no music at all.

My prayer is that in the coming days I would be able to stop... count until I find the beat in the deep part of myself.

And whether I dance like a fool, or tap my fingers on the steering wheel...

the rest just might make sense.